Beside Myself- Ann Morgan

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Beside Myself 




Blurb:

Beside Myself is a literary thriller about identical twins, Ellie and Helen, who swap places aged six. At first it is just a game, but then Ellie refuses to swap back. Forced into her new identity, Helen develops a host of behavioural problems, delinquency and chronic instability. With their lives diverging sharply, one twin headed for stardom and the other locked in a spiral of addiction and mental illness, how will the deception ever be uncovered? Exploring questions of identity, selfhood, and how other people's expectations affect human behaviour, this novel is as gripping as it is psychologically complex. 

Review:


I got this book from +Bloomsbury Publishing  (Bloomsbury India) for an honest review.I just love psychological thriller book and I just enjoyed reading it.



This is a story of twin sisters Helen and Eleanor (Ellie). Helen is always a good kid. She excels in schools, was a quick learner, speaks to everyone with politeness and was a mature child on the other hand Ellie was clumsy, quite slow and the reason was because she's been suffering from bipolar disorder just like her dad who committed suicide. Basically Helen was a leader and Ellie was a follower. They both love playing games and one day they decided to swap their place to see if anyone could recognize them. But this game went for too long - 25 years. Yes, 25 years. This is because Ellie refused to swap back and seeing this Helen was shocked and perplexed. So Helen was living Ellie's life and Ellie was happy being a leader and everyone's favourite child (Helen).



Definitely Helen wants her life back, she tried various means to prove that she’s the real Helen but Ellie always manages to make her look like a fool. Whenever Helen tries to prove something, she gets nervous and all her efforts resulted in a big blunder. Now after 25 years later she gets a phone call and she has a chance to tell the truth. Helen isolated herself and she doesn't want to be with her family and friends.

If we talk about the writing, I really like how the author made Helen's life in two parts: first when they were young and second after they grew up i.e. twenty five years later. Like every alternate chapter would tell you their childhood story, which I really like. I could actually feel what Helen was going through and the entire mental trauma which is hitting her with a full blow. It's so unlikely that from being the most favourite kid she became that kid whose like scolded in every hour for her clumsiness. The real Helen was so devastated she started hanging out with her older friends and got into drugs. I also feel sad for Ellie because she was the one who was living this life and however it's not entirely her fault. Their father suffered from the same disease and now Ellie. On the top of it what's more distressing is her mother always scolded her and tells her 'to be like your sister'. The least you expect is your mother to be at your side supporting you.  She scolds and mocks her. It was clear she neglects Ellie purposely from the mother-daughter relationship. So when Ellie gets the taste of Helen’s life it was pretty much clear why she refused to swap back to being Ellie. It was also clear if someone treated you in a different way (the way they treat Ellie) Helen loses all her confident and started behaving somewhat like Ellie. It definitely shows the psychological behaviour of a person.



What I find odd in this book is that Ellie was not so good at studies and was a slow learner. So how did she manage to cope up with her studies the way Helen used to do it? Also Helen’s friends didn't recognize her. Helen and Ellie were completely different from each other. Being with each other almost every day, they didn't even had a tinge of doubt.

Overall I really liked the book and really admire Ann Morgan's work. The ending (OH MY GOD) didn't see that coming. It was so unpredictable and shocking. 
If you're really into psychological thriller then this book is surely for you. I highly recommend this book.

Rating: 3.5/ 5 stars 

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